Zahra’s Zeal

Hi everyone, Zahra here with a brand new post focusing on a very interesting question! The question we should all ask ourselves is, “What does my illness mean to me?”

Does it really have to be a burden? Or can it teach us something? What if, after a while, we stop being victims of whatever has happened to us, and we transition into survivor mode? That is what happened to me back in 2014.

2014 was actually the worst year of my life. I was afflicted by raging mental illness, spinning out of control, and suicidal to a severe point on a daily basis. I was heavily medicated. I was in and out of hospitals and group homes, as well as these horrible day programs full of awful people. All of these places were full of awful people. They treated me terribly, they bullied me – both staff and patients alike. I had walked away from God prior to this dreadful chapter in my life. This nightmare only ended and I finally got to go home once I put my pride aside and surrendered to God, and begged Him to take me back and free me. Ever since then, I have been by His side – or rather, He has been by my side!

So what does surrendering to God mean? For me, it means putting aside my pride, and fully embracing His presence in my life. This allows Him to implement His Will in my life. It means offering my whole self up to Him and trusting Him to create something amazing for my life.

To me, mental illness meant the fork in the road – was I going to continue on without God and tread the road leading to a very scary place, or would I take His Hand and walk the road He chose? I chose His road, and to this day, I do not regret it one bit. ?

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