Hi! I’m Zahra Marie! I am pleased to be a part of this project where we come together as a community and face mental illness together. Many people who are a part of the Church have it, and we can all learn something from each other. This is my column Zahra’s Zeal
As for me, I am passionate about Christ, and dedicated to family, friends, and the pro-life movement.
I am a very open person and unafraid to say what I really think when need be.
You could say the deck was stacked against me from the beginning. My Muslim father wanted me aborted. He didn’t care for my life or safety. As I grew up I attempted suicide multiple times and not ONCE did he care.
I’ve always been a cradle Catholic, and he had a problem with that. My siblings were not allowed by him to be Baptized, and the priests complied with his demands.
10 years ago I lived in a mainly Muslim town, and I was bullied horribly for being Catholic. On top of this, Father physically abused me and even broke a coat hanger on my thigh once. Left quite the mark. He emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abused mom for 17 years. He threatened Mom if she didn’t abort me. Also he never acted like a father when I tried many times to take my life, he breathed not a word. He made fun of my looks. His mother practiced witchcraft on me, which was so profoundly effective I needed a minor exorcism. It also cost someone in the family their very life. Furthermore, he lets his current wife abuse me and my mom.
You know what’s interesting…
People call me and mom beautiful women, but we each disbelieve that about ourselves. We each think the other is beautiful and try to encourage the notion in one another, but not in oneself. Why? Because father made fun of our looks for years. I am deeply scarred by him. Mom is too. That is what abuse does, especially to people who lived it for years on end. I hope to share some of this in Zahra’s Zeal as time goes on.
This is why sometimes I feel like I am not worthy of many things. Why would I? My life was screwed from the start. But I am working to change this. I am adamant in my efforts to recover and live the life I dream of. I should never let anyone take that away from me. After all, I am a daughter of the King. <3 I am currently enrolled in RCIA and will receive my First Communion soon!
Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy my Zahra’s Zeal column!!